Access Denied

Chapter 1

The building towered over me like a sleeping monster. As I stared at it I had mixed feelings of being enthusiastic and completely terrified. Any more emotions and I thought I would explode. I looked at all the kids entering the building as though time had frozen. I knew I would have to go in eventually but every moment I took a step I could hear my friends saying that the kids were snobby, mean and had cliques. Their words were haunting me and I wanted them to go away but at the same time I wished they were here. I thought I would never make it inside. I was still deep in thought when a boy bumped into me. He turned around and said sorry but kept running. I was almost grateful that he had or I would still be standing there like a deer in headlights. I took a couple steps forward and then walked into the building. Kids were still rushing and I watched as they ran to greet their friends. I felt like an outsider that would never become accepted into their world. Despite the fears that kept going through my head and the butterflies in my stomach, I kept walking forcing myself to concentrate on the piece of paper that had come in the mail. I was supposed to go to my homeroom teacher and there someone would introduce themselves as my buddy. Then I would meet their friends who would help me get accustomed to the school. I started imagining who it would be and didn’t even notice that I was no longer moving. I felt like a scared puppy that has just gotten family and walked into his new home. I wanted to see everything that was around me and meet everyone but at the same time I feared that something bad would happen. I had to keep walking even though every part of my body told me to turn around and run home. But I kept going and finally I was in front of the classroom. I didn’t see anyone else go inside so I must have been the last one. I now regretted not rushing to class because now I would have to go into a classroom full of strangers.
I walked into the classroom and could instantly feel every eye in the room on me. It was probably obvious that I had just moved. It felt like they would never stop staring. When the teacher called my name and told me to sit down I could still feel every eye on me. She told me to sit next to a very unusual girl and I did as I was told. I looked around the classroom trying to find a friendly face. I looked at the girls sitting at the table next to me. I could tell they already knew each other because they were talking about their summer and laughing with ease. I was staring at them when I heard a voice.
“Hi, what’s your name? What elementary school are you from cause I’ve never seen you before?” someone said. It didn’t belong to one of the girls that I was staring at so I looked around and saw the girl I was sitting next to staring at me expecting something. She must have been talking to me.
“Umm my name is Amber Madison. I went to Woodward Elementary School in Woodward, CT.” I said wishing that she would stop talking to me. I guess she took the hint so she did but instead of being content I wish she was still talking to me. Then I wouldn’t have to worry about all the other things that were on my mind. My mind kept racing when I finally heard the bell ring. I quickly jumped out of my seat and rushed to find my locker. This was one of the few things I was excited about because I had never had a locker before, just stupid cubbies. I went over to my locker and did the combination exactly like it said on the piece of paper. I kept trying to open my locker but it wouldn’t work. I couldn’t remember if we were supposed to turn left or right first. It was probably left then right then left. No it had to be the opposite.
On my 4th try a girl came up to me and said, “I’m your buddy person. Do you want me to help you with that? I already opened mine.” I moved aside so that she would acknowledge that I needed help.
“What is your combination?” she asked patiently
“Oh um its 40-30-45,” I said staring at the piece of paper unwilling to look her in the eyes.
We stood there quietly for a really long time while she did my combination. Soon after she lifted the latch on my locker. It opened and she stepped aside. Wow she had actually opened it! I couldn’t believe it. I noticed she was staring at me and knew I had to say something.
“Uh, thanks, where is your locker?” I asked because maybe I would have to ask her to help me again.
“It’s over there,” she said pointing to a locker two down from mine. I couldn’t help but smile because her locker was really close and she seemed pleasant. I smiled as she turned around and left stuffing my bag into my locker. Everyone else already had pictures, a ladder, binders, pens, and everything else you could imagine putting in a locker. My locker was a dark blue and looked like a flat piece of metal except for the little indentation where there was a brand new lock. The lock was a deep black and had numbers that were perfectly painted all around it. When I turned it, it smoothly went around. Above it was the blue latch that was a shade lighter than the locker. When you opened the locker you could see the back of the lock. Inside it looked completely empty except there was a little shelf on top and under that shelf were a couple of hooks. On one of the hooks hung my bag that had my lunch, a couple of pens, paper, and the assignment planner that we had gotten from our homeroom teacher.
I looked around and saw that everyone already put their stuff away. There were people surrounding lockers talking to their friends, in little groups, all over the place. In my old school people walked around and talked to everyone but here there were little circles surrounding the lockers all over the place. Even the person that had just opened my locker was in a group of friends. Everyone obviously knew each other already. I kept looking around at the halls frightened because I could already tell that I was very different from them. I hated groups and thought that they only allowed you to know the people in your group. Despite the fear I had of entering this new school I loved meeting new people. I looked around trying to see a friendly face or someone that I could walk up to but I didn’t want to introduce myself to a group of people. I turned around towards my locker still anticipating and worrying about the day ahead. Still lost in my thoughts, I grabbed my books and hurried to my first class.