Thursday, July 24, 2008


The woman looked harried and fearful as I watched her. Obviously not from this country, with caramel skin and raven black hair, she stood there silently as doctors tried to revive her husband. I knew that she was hiding, not a legal citizen, and the fear of the hospital finding out in order to save her husband’s life was more than she could handle. Her body stiffened as the hospital staff approached her, one of them clutching a folder with documents stuffed inside. She slowly backed into a nearby room, but they caught her just before she slipped into the darkness. I overhead them as they confronted her, but not for the reasons she had expected, as hot tears started to stain her face when they mouthed, “We’re so sorry.”

author's note: this is the six sentence short story. if anyone can think of suggestions for a more appropriate title, that would be great :)


Mara Kate said...

This is an awesome six sentence story I like how you ended it the way you didn't have to say that her husband died. The titles is very good i just think it's a little concrete and it kind of predicts the short story maybe you could try calling it "she slipped into the darkness" plz check out my blog and comment my stuff :)

Gina said...

Maybe "Stranded", or "Hidden in Plain Sight" or something like that. Thanks for clarifying with the last bit added onto the sixth sentence, it makes things ever so much clearer. :)

Maria said...

It definitely helps that you added to the last sentence for clarification.

One thing: How can you overhear somebody mouthing something? "Mouthing" suggests they are not actually speaking, just forming the words with their lips.

Other than that- yeah. Awesome.