Thursday, July 23, 2009

Untitled

Her soft strawberry blonde hair rested on her delicate shoulders in the park where she waited. Leila, my Leila, was smart girl, strong willed, and her happiness means everything to me; I only wish that she knew that I loved her. My name is Carter, and as I see her eyes light up to see me, I smile with a bouquet of flowers behind my back. I walk up saying, "Hey Leila, you know..." She responds with "Yea? Carter..." it quickly escaped her mouth, as if she wanted to say something, and needed me to finish. "I love you, always have, always will..." I say as I slowly bring out her favorite flowers... lilacs. Leila disregards the flowers, and hands me a note and mumbles goodbye. No louder than a whisper. I look closer at her then, I see the tears. I see the newly opened bottle of sleeping pills... empty. Her eyes go blank, body falls limp. I look at the letter. It says,

"I love you Carter, always have, always will."

Love

Love is the idea that you can't live without them.
That they are the dam to your river...
The life when you're no longer living.
The hopefuls when you're hopeless.
Your loves sew you up,
Or rip you down
In the end.

Wednesday, July 22, 2009

Music

Music can course through your veins in a way that nothing else can. Music provokes emotions, and there is a constant about music, anyone that can hear, enjoys some form. You can sing at the top of your lungs, or you can listen to something as you drift to sleep. Music never stops playing, there is always someone listening or playing some beat, so maybe that is why it’s so beloved. I love the fact that music can just engross me, when I am in my room, just lying around, and I hear a lyric start to play, and I listen. I really and truly listen. The lyrics that play may be so energetic that you can’t help but to get up and dance. They may be so melancholy, that you just want to cry. Whether it is for a mistake made, or hearing how much love there can be in a person. You don’t hear of that love much anymore, which is part of the reason that country music appeals to me so much. It gives me, almost a security blanket… I know what they’re singing about, and it’s nice to be able to pick out every lyric sung. The best feeling in the world, next to being near the people you love, and laughing so hard you cry, is to sing with a huge group of people. People with different backgrounds, different histories, different ranges of being off-key, can join together, and sing… sing like there is no end of the world, but if there is, it’s okay to leave now.

Tuesday, July 21, 2009

music

I'd forgotten about
closing my eyes,
music blaring loud,
and the ability to listen...
to hear the beating of the drums,
the strums of the guitar,
and to hear those lyrics
and take them to heart.
I'd forgotten about the real reason music existed

Famous First Lines

In the heat of the night
They forgot about the children
All four of them
Lucy, Paul, Daniel and Penelope
Abandoned
Left to fend for themselves
Alone
In the dark and decrepid house
They had once called home
The furniture lay in ruins
The picture frames all cracked and torn
And the four children
Huddled together on the floor
Forgotten
In the heat of the night

I've hoped more times than you've counted

I've hoped more times than you've counted
wished more than you could hear
I've had these great ideas
unable to force them out of my heart.
I've wanted to say what I could,
but with you looking at me,
I couldn't say it.

Maybe the choked up feeling in my throat,
the never mind mumbled and face going bright
Maybe the realization that I'm not in your eyes
Had me shove down those words
I'm longing to say.

Monday, July 20, 2009

I Was a Person

There was no way for you to help
I always needed you
I sent all the signs
Almost begging on my knees
I was pleading and changing
In a way you couldn't dream.
I was hoping that one last shout, would change how you see
I was wrong, that much is evident
I hoped you could believe in me
I knew I was not worth your time.
You just were not here
You ran so many charities,
You helped so many other people
But the one you forgot was me.
I was passed the point of redemption
Maybe you knew that
Maybe you immersed yourself in all that good, to make up for all my bad.
I love you
You loved me
I was a person
Before you forgot

Before you forgot
I was a person
You loved me
I love you
Maybe you immersed yourself in all that good, to make up for all my bad.
Maybe you knew that
I was passed the point of redemption
But the one you forgot was me.
You helped so many other people
You ran so many charities,
You just were not here
I knew I was not worth your time.
I hoped you could believe in me
I was wrong, that much is evident
I was hoping that one last shout, would change how you see
In a way you couldn't dream.
I was pleading and changing
Almost begging on my knees
I sent all the signs
I always needed you
There was no way for you to help

What it's ;ike living in Hingham, Mass

Here's what it's like:
Let's say you've just jumped out
Of a hot, crowded car
To the sound of hello's
And the warm embrace of your cousins
You traipse into the house, carrying your bags
You drop everything on the bedroom floor
And change into your bathing suit
You hop into a car
Even more crowded than before
And speed away to the refreshing coolness
Of the country club pool
You play and joke around
And beg the parents
To order the traditional spicy fries
That we get every year
After indulging ourselves
We head to the beach and wait
For the sun to set and to be awed
By the magnificent fireworks held there
Oooing and ahhing
At each burst of color
After what could pass as a good night sleep
You dress up in red, white, and blue
And drag beach chairs to the annual
4th of July parade
You hoot and holler at each passing float
Your pockets bulging from all the candy you were thrown
As you mill around after
Waiting for the crowd to disperse
You swap candy and take family photos
You walk down the block
Where the smell of your uncles bbq
Drifts lazily on the wind
You crush your cousins in badminton
And are rewarded with ice creams from the Red Store
Two houses over
Each day is another adventure
Crashing through the waves at Hingham Harbor one day
Climbing and exploring Fort Revere the next
That's what it's like living in Hingham

Friday, July 17, 2009

Touching Me, Touching You

A moonlit night
Your hand in mine
Each passing moment
Something to be cherished
And when all else fails
Thoses memories will be what I hold onto
My lifeline
My hope
But right now
All that matters is you
You are a part of me
Something I can't let go of
My heartbeat seems to call your name
Each breath wispers "I love you"
Like an angel sent from heaven
You watch over me
You pull me into your arms
And your embrace surrounds me
Love seems to roll off you in waves
Each new wave brings about
Even deeper feelings for you
All these feelings
Memories
Are worth the world to me
And I would like to show you
How much they mean to me
As we walk
Hand in hand
Into the moonlight

Coming Back

There is something different

Coming back that next year.

You expect all the fun,

Yet you wish that it’d never change.

There always new people,

New experiences and adventures.

But each year, there are less and less.

I can picture the tables I’d walk up to in the morning

The soft green grass, and the big twisting tree.

Each year I have come back to new people,

I have just hoped, that I’ll never lose this place in my heart.

Wednesday, July 15, 2009

not done yet but just thot i'd post it

A distant breeze
Rustles my leaves
And the sound of voices
Is carried on the wind
The hot tropical sun
Furiously beats down
Trying to find
A way to escape
To find the surface
Of the cool water
Through my leafy branches

I Was a Person

There was no way for you to help
Although I always needed you
You were not here
You ran so many charities,
You helped so many other people
But the one you forgot was me.
I was passed the point of redemption
Maybe you knew that
Maybe you immersed yourself in all that good, to make up for all my bad.
I was a person
Before you forgot

Before you forgot
I was a person
Maybe you immersed yourself in all that good, to make up for all my bad.
Maybe you knew that
I was passed the point of redemption
But the one you forgot was me.
You helped so many other people
You ran so many charities,
You were not here
Although I always needed you
There was no way for you to help.

Put yourself in a picture

A cool night is being replaced, the sun making its way up the sky, removing those night chills, leaving a warmth blanketing the new day. I feel the water, smooth glass lapping and running though me, long ago I lost the fight against the water. This water dug a grove though me, boats now frequenting a spot that used to be mine; but I cannot fight them and I will not win, I have no control, I just am.

I know that I am beautiful, that my jagged edges were long ago admired. That with the water, I was the rough edge of a smooth surface. Most of all I realized that everyone has placed me with the water, yes we are here, but the water has never been constant. Like many people's experiences here, water is as fleeting as a summer romance.

The sun is now high in the sky, I can feel how dry my rocks are, despite the green rooted in me. The water is particularly cool, the mist spitting against the jagged rocks, leaving a salty smell that I find so endearing.

I remember

I remember
crispy leaves falling apart beneath my feet
smoke in the distance leaving a warm homey feel
the air rushing to me, cold enough that
any drowse i felt disappeared.

I remember
the muted sound of footprints approaching
and the sound of laughter filling the house

I remember
walking inside hearing my name shouted loud
and being greeted with bright eyes, rosy
cheeks and smiles that let you know your loved.

I remember
the soft cotton called snow gently blanketing
the world

I remember the place I love to call home.

Not finished yet but just thot i'd post it

I remember when
The streets had no name
And a cold wind
Blew around the houses
A deathly silence
Enveloped the town
And yellow streetlights
Cast a haunting glow
Not a soul moved
Nor a leaf rustled
It was as if life itself
Was holding its breath

Tuesday, July 14, 2009

You can't choreograph life

"You can't choreograph life.
the kids that made history
look just like you.
curiosity is what you ought to have.
Some pictures are worth a thousand words
others are worth so much more
they inspire you, move you
The proudest moment America ever had
was to elect a black man
for his policies."

Memories

Memories

To look back, to hold onto

something that you've already left.

Memories are what hold bonds

sometimes stronger than anything else alive.

They allow empathy, but they can

also be so negative. These are

what trigger someone to live

as though they are experiencing

a traumatic moment that never

will seem to end. The problem is

that time never stands still.

If you hide out, chances are

that the world will move on

without you.

Memories

they hold together our world,

they keep people alive

without the memories

our world would never

have grown.

Monday, July 13, 2009

There

There to keep you from too much pain

Forever someone who will remain a friend

Never going to let you ruin your life

Going to keep life a lovely surprise

To understand and be there when you need me

Let you learn from mistakes, but not let you go too far

You are wonderful, never forget that

Go make your life meaningful… I can’t help with everything

theatre

Anticipation…

The curtain rustles as someone tries to take the tiniest peek into the audience

Laughter and shouting can be heard out there

In here, there is a deafness, a mute on our voices

We jump and giggle and pray that we don’t forget cues

But we are anxious and scared, knowing that what we’ve worked for is here.

Theatre can look easy, with an eye-capturing ease.

But backstage there is adrenaline…

Backstage is where the fun is.

It was a happy thing,
That cannot be denied
No one knows where it came from
Or how it has survived.

People would follow it,
It could not be left alone
Life can no longer be simple
This happiness, never left alone.

If my life were a sport...

If my life were a game
It would be the game of tennis
Each game a challenge
A win a small victory
A loss something you learn from
I either try to improve
Or am satisfied with my game
Sometimes I'll get what I want
A clean, powerful, winning shot
Or I will miss my mark and the ball will go flying
Some people say that tennis is a "love" game
Well every day
I am surrounded by people that love and care about me
As you go through life
You can try to solve your problems
That your opponent is constantly hitting at you
Alone
Like a singles match
Or
You can open your arms
And accept the help of others
Like a doubles match
You either play by the rules
Or choose to cheat
If my life were a game
It would be the game of tennis
Sometimes you win
Sometimes you lose
But thats just the way life is

If my life were a sport....

If my life were a sport
It would be football
Every down, an experience
Every touchdown, success.
Whether life includes cheering friends on
Or tailgating with the family
My life is a sport
My life is games of football
My life is sitting on those cold plastic seats
Dressed in skiing attire
The stadium just too cold.
My life is scalding hot chocolates
Screaming “GO GIANTS”
At the top of my lungs
My life is running those yards
People just getting in the way
My life is the teamwork seen in those games
My life is those games of football.

Monday, July 6, 2009

Help Me W/ Title

Sometimes i wonder
Wether those searching eyes
Are searcing for me
Or someone else
Mine are searching for you
That is certain
I wonder if those things you say
The way you act
Are your way of showing
You care
Or if you're just being yourself
Because that's just the way you are
Your smiling eyes
Your bell like laughter
All this and so much more
If only you would tell me
What these signs mean
Make the first move
Because deep down inside
I love you dearly
But i've been hurt to many times
To risk that hurt again
I don't want you
To think less of me
The opposite
I want you to let me into your heart
So i can put myself back together
But there is not much time left
So make it quick
Because soon
I will be
No more

The Road Not Taken

There's a time and place for many things
Things unsaid
Thnigs untold
But there's also a time
When things are best left
Unsaid
Untold
These times are criticall
A time when you show your true colors
Do you say whats on your mind
Or do you think
Think about what you saying will do
What events will be caused by this moment
Are you ready to risk
A special friendship
An open, accepting heart
If you are
Then go ahead
Say what's on your mind
If not then treasure the moments
You spend together
And bury the thought inside
That way
Your hurting no one
And in the end
You will be repayed