Thursday, July 19, 2007

my own sisterhood

this is a work in progress, please leave comments. i really need constructive critisism

I love my friends
They are so strong
I think of them
And I am proud

One could ditch us fast
Become more popular
She sticks with us though
In all her perfectness

The other is so funny
She makes me laugh all the time
She sings to her own beat
And dresses what she’s like

One is adventurous like you can’t imagine
When I think of her
I think fun and singing
She gets me to explore

One is sweet and quiet
Sings softly and so peaceful
She has her own way
And you learn to accept it

These four friends are amazing
They are strong and diverse too
The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants is fiction
But it looks too similar to be true

7 comments:

Gina said...

Do you mean "But it looks too similar to be true"?

Maddie said...

yeah, thank's gina, i'm about to fix that now.

Maria said...

"One is adventurous like you can’t imagine
When I think of her
I think fun and singing
She gets me to explore"

The second and third lines in this stanza are just a little weak. Maybe play with the words a little so you can express more why she is fun to be around?

Also, what does she get you to explore? Feelings?

Anonymous said...

Ya I totally agree with Maria.

Anonymous said...

Who are your 4 friends?

Maddie said...

my friends are these grls from school, kathereine, emma, megan, and cassidy. it is a work in progress so thanks for the advice Maria. and explore means, she gets me to love running sometimes, yet I hate doing it alone. she'll show me something in my yard, that i never really cared about. she gets me to overall just be more active and imaginative.

Anonymous said...

heyy. this is madeleine's friend emma. wat up?? i'm the adventurous one. hehehehe. so ... anyhoo. BLOOM YOUNG WRITERS, KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK :)