Thursday, July 19, 2007

beginning-short story draft

I’m running, running so hard that my legs feel as though they are going to break. I can’t handle this. Darkness closes in around me. My throat burns and I can’t breath. The wind is whipping through her hair. There is nothing on my mind. Then I notice a cliff up ahead. I close my eyes and jump. I fall for what seems like hours. The world spins around. I have never felt so free. Free from problems, troubles, love.
Em awoke with a jump, her heart beating unbelievably fast, as if it were about to break through her chest. It was only a dream, but it felt so real. For a brief moment she wished it were not. She wish that was her fall through the darkness, landing in the cold November water, letting the ocean fill my lungs, not having to worry about anything again. She would finally be able to forget David.
The sudden thought of him flashed through her mind, the memories traveling through her body down to the center of her heart. It ached uncontrollably, feeling as if all the happiness has been drained from her life.
The moonlight outside her widow cut though the darkness within her room and spilled upon a photo in a soft yellow frame sitting next to her bed on her nightstand table. It was the first thing seen every time Em was awoken by the same accruing nightmare. It reminded her of the wonderful memories she and David use to save.
She raised the picture from the stand and held it in her lap. I small tear poured from her eye and splashed on the glass protecting her in the image, as she remembered…

this is were there would be a flash back to the girls past with the boyfriend. i'm still trying to think of where to continue.


Maria said...

Good description!

Just to clarify... when you say "Free from problems, troubles. Love." you mean free from love?

I think you use the word "my" at one point during the 3rd-person POV part.

Anonymous said...

This beginning is an excellent start. I think that you have something very powerful going for you in this story and continue down the same path.