Wednesday, July 9, 2008

The Princess Club

This is my new story...I'm still working on it, but this is the first chapter. enjoy ;-)

The Princess Club

1. You are chosen. You cannot change that. You must be a part of this club if you are chosen to do so.
2. No one can fly. Except for Era.
3. You must have one, and only one super power.
4. Always leave your power in Atlantia as well as your princess identities.
5. Never talk about Atlantia when you are not in Atlantia.
6. Likewise, you must never talk about the human world in Atlantia.
7. No boys are ever allowed. Under any circumstances.
8. Never reveal your true identity to the outside world.

Emma smoothed out the wrinkles in her green dress before leaving for Susie’s house. Emma was her outside name. Outside the world of super heroes and villains and destruction, she was called Emma. But once she left her tiny house and reached Susie’s house, she became Viatrix, warrior and princess of the forest. She had control over the vines – they ran from her fingers, like veins as they were a part of her body.
She lifted the brown cloak from her bed and tied it around her neck. Rule number seven was that she could never reveal her true identity to the outside world, and once she took off that cloak, she became Viatrix. She couldn’t help it. It was who she truly was.
Her brother, Sam messed with her hair as she came out of her room. She heard the familiar cries of her baby sister from her parent’s room.
At the bottom of the stairs, Sara was waiting, with a similar brown cloak. She smiled the kind of smile where you close your lips, crinkle your nose, and narrow your eyes. It was that excited little-girls smile that Sara was wearing as she linked her arm through Emma’s tightly.
They headed for the door, Emma’s father giving them a polite wave as they left. Her family was used to Emma leaving the house at this time every day with no explanation. Emma had heard them say that they wanted to be supportive of their little girl’s imagination, and must never try to restrain it.
But it wasn’t imagination, it was real. It’s just that the parent’s could never understand. That was a known fact among Emma’s fellow princesses. Adults just never understood.
Around the neighborhood, girls in brown cloaks were flooding out of houses to meet at the same place: Susie’s house. Susie’s house was the portal to their world. They didn’t choose it – Susie just found the portal one day, and there was a prophecy that told only the names of the girls who were chosen to represent them in saving the world. Susie was the main chosen one and her first mission when she found the portal was to tell the girls whose names were on the list of their true identities and of Atlantia.
Emma spotted Jacky, Kari, Cecile, Hanna, and Julie all coming towards Susie’s house. They didn’t speak, just exchanged solemn glances as they walked through the doorway. Susie’s mother greeted them, escorting them to Susie’s room. Sara closed the door behind them as Kari and Cecile pulled Susie’s rug away, revealing a trap door.
One by one they jumped through the trap door and suddenly they were transported to another dimension, another world. This was the world where they were the most important people. In the other world where adults were in charge of the children, this was the place where the eight of them ruled. And there were eight rules – one from each of the members. This was Atlantia. They were the Princess Club.


Sabby said...

Wow, that was really good. I can't wait to read what happens next! It was a really cute idea.

Maria said...

Who is Era? So mysterious... Is that Susie's princess name?

The title somewhat limits your audience. That's not meant to be rude or snotty, but the word "club" automatically suggests something not as serious as you seem to intend. Also, "club" insinuates that joining was optional, which clearly is not the case.

Do they always wear the brown cloaks? Because you say "once she [Emma] took off that cloak, she became Viatrix," but she was still Emma before she put on the cloak. It's a little confusing.

Keep working on this! I love the little-girl smile description. It's an action that not everyone would think to describe; it was observant and cute, and it made me smile too, at least to figure out how to do the smile. :D

Maddie said...

hey, I'm an old cwp blogger. i've been posting all year along with maria, gina and bela. all old bloggers like me. we did it last year and we are all doing this years session 2!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

i must say that this really amazing. It's really intriguing(I'm pretty sure that i spelled it wrong).

I was quickly scrolling through the blog, noticing the 'intruders' and saw yours. i stopped to read it and thought that this is a great story.

I could honestly tell you that this is a great first chapter for a novel. I would buy it without a second thought. please continue the story, i want to read more.

Erin C. said...

Post the 2nd Chapter!!

Erin C. said...

Post chapter 2!!!