Friday, July 25, 2008

Island of Thoughts

I can smell the sea salt breeze rising into my lungs burning my nose. The water pushes itself toward land, harshly brushing against the rocks. The surrounding sand, damp and heavy, fills the cracks between my toes as I walk along the shore. The sun in my view shines on the sea like it is its pride and joy. The contrasting bright green plants are like a newfound light to my eyes. The jagged rocks along the shore greet the waves as they come and go. The air has a muggy feeling, the mist of the sea makes it even muggier. The clouds around the island shade it ever so lightly from the sun’s harsh rays. Yet the leaves of the trees shade the animals.


Edited by Gina. Co-edited by Maria



Is there anything I should change about this piece I don't like it so...... I don't know what to do with it this was from the day we had to write about the pictures/scenes plz comment and tell me what u think

4 comments:

Gina said...

Um, just some grammar and punctuation corrections, so it should read like this: "I can smell the sea salt breeze rising into my lungs burning my nose. The water pushes itself toward land, harshly brushing against the rocks. The surrounding sand, damp and heavy, fills the cracks between my toes as I walk along the shore. The sun in my view shines on the sea like it is its pride and joy. The contrasting bright green plants are like a newfound light to my eyes. The jagged rocks along the shore greet the waves as they come and go. The air has a muggy feeling, the mist of the sea makes it even muggier. The clouds around the island shade it ever so lightly from the sun’s harsh rays. Yet the leaves of the trees shade the animals."

Maria said...

What she said. ^

Mara Kate said...

thanks u guys that really helps

Mara Kate said...

(0.0)