Sunday, May 18, 2008

Forgotten

this is a holocaust poem

All in lines
heading out
looking behind them
at their forgotten homes
filing out
being called dogs
hoping internally
that they’ll come back home.

All their stories
so hard to speak of
people start crying
when they hear of that place.

The Holocaust was cruel
it can’t go forgotten
so remember their lives before
their home’s memories before then.

3 comments:

Maddie said...

this was written in class because we are reading the holocaust book Night. i wrote this to tell people to not only forget them during then, but their lives before then too.

Maria said...

Flesh this out!!! You need descriptions, adjectives, more emotion shown rather than told.

(By the way, in case you didn't see it, I posted a comment on your other poem.)

Gina said...

I like the emotion of the first stanza. It is raw and intense, with a real sadness portrayed from the people standing in lines. I also like the repetition of the word "all" starting the second stanza as well, I think maybe you shouyld do that for the last one, somehow. No offense, but the last stanza is the weakest one. I was confused by the last two lines: "so remember their lives before/their home's memories before then." What were you trying to express?