Sunday, January 27, 2008

life always missed

this isn't very good, there will probably b a lot of critism but oh well. read it if u wanna luv

my life has passed in days by days
and months and years
and in so many other ways
like in fits of laughter and just crying hard
thoughts overwhelming wishing so hard that you could be home
desperately trying to escape parents in doom
because it's scary now that you know

hoping to be respected well
all the while missing being daddy's little girl.
all of life's twisted facts
believing once that you were safe
but now knowing not,
smirking about little kids missing entirely
little side conservations about how funny they are
those times when they are entirely sincere.

those times that made life special disappear
now that we know how to act sincere,
now that we are all growed up
we figure out life sucks
get used to it.


Maria said...

hmm.... Was this written at a low point, or did you just feel like writing something sad for a change?

I think at some points you are trying to twist a rhyme out of this poem and it's not really working, i.e., "desperately trying to escape parents in doom". I don't quite understand what that means anyway. Are the parents in doom, or is the escape from them futile, or what are you saying?

I bet you know that "grown up" is the proper way to say that, but I think you put "growed up" in there as a sort of sarcastic effect.

Edit this one! There's something that can come out of this with some good editing & revising!

Maddie said...

thnx. i sometimes just write stuff on here when i think that blogger needs some new stuff. i wasnt sad, nor happy, just tired. thank u 4 the feedback, and i meant when parents r in tuff situations. anyhoo thank u.

Gina said...

You do sound tired in this one, Maddie. Notice that you said "conservations" instead of "conversations". Ah well, I'm off to sleep, late as usual...