BEHOLD THE MAGICAL DISAPPEARING BRAIN!

Let it astound you with its feats of wisdom one minute, then totally vanish the next, leaving the wearer incapable of uttering anything intelligent! When you ask it for a brilliant idea, you’ll literally have a head full of air! Observe how it dissolves completely as it is asked to provide a witty remark!

Examine the deluxe model as well. This version is more sophisticated and temporarily deletes certain parts of your brain, like the kinds that store information for math tests and quiz shows! It also gets rid of parts that remember why you walked into that room, or what you wanted to get at the supermarket!

Some models have already been installed in unsuspecting people who were told only that they were participating in a medical study that involved regular sedation and some light anesthesia. Who knows, maybe you could be the next lucky* wearer! Enter your name, Social Security number, and financial information into this box for your chance to win and be totally clueless!

*Magical Disappearing Brain™ is copyright of Quack Meds, inc., and may be a scam. The purchaser is fully responsible for all decisions, accidents, and general stupidity caused by usage. Any attempt to sue the company will result in heavy fines for the purchaser, as well as losing the case.

Questions

Questions that keep me awake at night
(A Song for Joanna Newsom)

What are lies?
What is truth?
How does age
Spring out of youth?

What is hope
And what’s despair?
Does it matter
If I care?

If seeing is believing
And seeing’s with the eyes,
How come things
Come so often in disguise?
What came first,
The stormcloud or the weather?
Surely, they can’t have
Come together.

What is truth?
What are lies?
All these ques-
Tions I despise

What’s despair
And what is hope?
How many threads
Does it take to make a rope?

Springing from the woods
In the dead of the night,
Strange things lurk
Just out of sight
Then in the morning
Comes the dew
What is me
And what are you?