Wednesday, October 15, 2008

I'm going to die

She's going to die
Her eyelids grow heavy
They have seen too much
The color drains from her face
She can barely catch her breath
Patience is running thin
Growing tired of the shots
Drawing blood
From her deathly pallid skin
The nurse’s school picture smile
The doctor’s nasal voice
“Honey, you’re going to be just fine, ok?”
The suffocating aroma
Of neatly arranged roses
Enveloped in their “Get Better Soon!” wrapping paper
Trapped under these starched sheets
Isolated from everyone
In this dark dismal chamber
Where sunlight doesn’t even stream
Through the dusty, plastic blinds
The visits became shorter and shorter
Until her friends stopped coming all together
How quickly everyone has forgotten
Even her mother
Has become a distant shadow
Weeping endlessly through the nights
Pacing the creaky floorboards
Murmuring to herself
Two weeks later
She’s behind glass windows
Falling apart in a mental hospital
Her daddy
Abandoned them 8 years ago
For his secretary
The phone hasn’t even rung
And she knows it won’t
She stares at the blank wall
Desperately looking for an answer
A reason, a logical explanation
Why, she asks herself? Why?
Am I dying alone in this hell,
With no one for comfort?
What have I done?
Why do you punish me, God?
Someone wake me up from this nightmare
She wants to be that little girl
In the faded photograph
Standing on her nightstand
Holding her parents’ hands
Strolling through the park
Twirling her blond braids
Hugging her Barbie
Carefree, no worries, no pain
She wants her life back
But Death is pulling the final straws
The cancer tumor has become malignant
Her body is growing weaker and weaker
There is no hope
Now all she does,
Is wait for him to come
To wisk her away
Maybe to heaven, if they really is such a thing
The doctor interrupts her thoughts
And sits by her bedside
The nasal voice escalates again
“Darling, how do you feel?”
The bony corpse manages to raise herself from the pillow
Her eyes are watering with the truth
Her voice is grave
“Doctor, you can’t hide from me anymore.”
“I don’t know what you mean.”
But the girl can see through sweet innocence
Because she knows she can’t escape anymore
“I’m sure you have known for quite a while, doctor.”
Her bruised eyes gaze at her despondently
“I’m going to die.”


Maria said...

I love how this poem really gets to the point- no frills.

What a great phrase- "school picture smile"! That really captures the fakeness, the requirement of the smile.

Lovely word choice throughout.

Maria said...

I also really liked how the poem starts and ends with descriptions of her eyes and the line "She's/I'm going to die."

One thing: the verb "whisk" has an H in it, unlike the cleaning product.

Other than that, amazing! You get really good emotions and story across.

Joanna K. said...

thanks for your suggestions maria!:]