(Disclaimer: this is a farce, and a poorly written one at that. Do you think I can save it in any form? This was written for my self-imposed Tobias Fulner writing challenge. Ladies, I'm waiting for your entries!)
Tobias Fulner was a very young man who believed in the power of the art of persuasion. Every day he would lift his head off of the pillow, stretch, yawn, and persuade himself that the world needed him to get up. And so he did.
Tobias was not a good student in the classical sense of things. He did not like to do homework or yardwork or woodwork or anything he deemed "immoral", a word he used so often it appeared to have less to do with morals than the principle of the thing. His parents deemed him an unruly child and made up their minds to send him to military school.
Little to their knowledge, Tobias, being a believer in the power of the art of persuasion, soon surpassed their wildest dreams and had quickly become an integral part of the Premier's inner circle of military advisors. Unfortunately for his country, Tobias knew nothing of military strategy. All he had was a gift for persuasion and a spunky, lopsided sort of charm.
Therefore, to the chagrin of all the other advisors, the country entered a war in a far corner of the globe. However, this war did not last very long, as Mr. Fulner quickly persuaded the other side to simply give up.
The next day, there was a ticker-tape parade in celebration of the heroic Tobias Fulner. All the children stood outside of their gloomy apartments and cheered for this bemused, funny-looking man who had a way with children and convincing adults to do things.
Later, spurred by the attentions of the local media, Tobias grew interested in the prospect of power, based on things other than persuasion. He had grown tired of continuously having to convince other people to do things. So, he decided one morning as he persuaded himself to get out of bed, he would do his last big job of persuasion. He would persuade the country to replace him as their leader.
So he got in front of the television cameras and the bloggers' screens and made his case. It was quite persuasive, and soon people began to question why he wasn't their leader in the first place. So the whole country mutinied and installed Premier Fulner. Actually, it wasn't a real mutiny per se, as the original premier was persuaded to give up his post too.
Satisfied, Tobias sank into a deep slumber in the cushy bed of the Premier's Palace, which had been built for him by an especially sympathetic crew of architects and construction workers. He woke up automatically the next morning when rays of sunshine tickled his retinas. But, having given up persuasion forever, he could not convince himself to get out of bed.
Days passed, with no signs of Premier Fulner reaching the outside world. Tobias was bedridden. The population became uneasy. They were unused to functioning without a leader for such a long period of time. On the twelfth day of the Premier's self-imposed exile, the people revolted. They installed a new Premier in his place.
The men from the moving company moved Fulner's bed out of the palace, into a small clearing in the nearby woods. Still Tobias would not stir. As it was, Tobias Fulner could not convince himself to do anything anymore. As is usual with these sorts of things, Tobias Fulner died.
At his funeral, no one quite knew what to say. He was buried under a large statue of a charging horse, in a plot he had persuaded the cemetery owner to give to him for free.
Showing posts with label Writing. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Writing. Show all posts
Sunday, September 13, 2009
Monday, January 14, 2008
CWP Memoir
okay. this is the edited and revised and fixed memoir. the othe one was a first draft. please, maria, gina, bela the new one????? this may need help. oh and what grade is caitlin in?????
Fairfield University was a respectable place. Immaculate lawns, trees ready for climbing, and old looking brick buildings welcomed you to a summer program you may never forget. I loved this after just a few days at the Connecticut Writing Program. Friends surrounded me in the semi young group first consisting of Brianne, Charlotte, Noodle, me, and sometimes Caitlin, Gina, and Maria. We were happy just writing in a place that was almost completely supportive. I almost couldn’t believe that this place had once scared me. Cause on my first day it was totally different.
I had walk into this huge room with lots of tables and chairs lined up neatly. About 5 rows high and about fifteen chairs to a table, it looked like the ideal place to scare someone new to this like me. I walked in with this boy Quinn, he seemed quiet compared to everyone else, but I don’t really think either of us knew what to expect. Behind a huge wall revealed about five other people, and old lady who would end up leading us, a strict woman named Justine, and a really nice and relaxed looking man, named Jeff would also be in charge too. I sit down and wait, watching groups of kids who know each other squeal with excitement, while other kids like me wait.
I kept thinking like great, this will be worse than prompts or CMTs. I’m stuck in this dumb writing program just so I can be in the high writing class, 8-1. Six hours wasted each day and I can’t believe it cost $700. I already hate this place. But every day I showed up with my brown hair and blonde highlights pulled back in a ponytail or braids and my feet in flip flops or sneakers. My shorts and a tee-shirt was what I wore, just like all the rest of them here, we didn’t care as much of how well we were dressed, we all just dressed for comfort. I almost couldn’t believe that I loved this place; that I smiled all the time and laughed constantly too.
When I first saw Charlotte, as she came in with shorts and a tee-shirt, I was ecstatic. She was the first person I knew there, the first and only person I knew before we started. We weren’t really friends, nor are we now, but when you see only one familiar face in a room, you tend to gravitate towards them, or at least that’s what I do.
I saw other people there too, a girl with curly brown Shirley Temple like hair. She had a blue dress shirt tucked into her blue jean shorts and a rainbow belt. I figured she’d be so goody two shoes who would annoy me non-stop. There was also this girl when I looked across the room. This girl, with blonde hair and a flowery blue colored spaghetti strap shirt. She slowly turned towards me and I mouth, “Hi……” She mouthed hi back. She slowly got up and walked towards me. She sat down next to me and that kind of just started out our friendship.
During that first day, I met a lot of people. Kenzie, who I’d later call Noodle, she was the one with the Shirley Temple hair. Brianne, she was the girl who had sat next to me, the blonde one. Caitlin, is this amazing and funny sophomore, and the freshmen Maria and Gina, they are these two really nice girls who I found out almost a week and a half in, are twins. This made up our core group. Well, most of it anyways. Caitlin, Maria and Gina sat with the other high schoolers but they talked with us more. Brianne, Charlotte and I started to sit together with Kenzie in tow. On that first day, Bri, Charlotte, Kenzie and I walked into this huge room, the cafeteria. As a group, we started gravitating towards the middle of the room. Slowly I walked towards this table at the center, a great spot, and it was empty! We sat down there relieved that there was an open table in the crowded room. We each ate pizza, fries, and of course one whole ice cream cone and one whole sundae every lunch. We’d go outside with 15 minutes left for our lunch brake and go climb trees and take amazing pictures. When we’d come back inside, our spot in that huge room, in what I called the “conference room”, is the second row up, closest to the door. It’s the spot I sat at on the first day, and every day that followed. Mid-afternoon, we’d go to the computer lab. We all sat in the back row, up on the right. That was until I met Bela on that third day.
You see on that third day, we were split into groups. I was with a few girls I didn’t really know but Kenzie was in my group. Brianne, she was annoyed because she was in a group with people we didn’t know. After about an hour of conferencing with those groups, we were reunited with our friends. When Bri walked back towards us though, this smart, nice, funny and cool looking girl came too. Brianne said, “Hey everyone, this is Bela. She’s in 7th grade too!” Bela stood in front of me and the extent of our first conversation was “Hi”…… “Hi” “Hi!” “Hi” “Hhhhhiiiiiii” “Hi.” Then she left to go back to her group of friends.. As you can see, I didn’t really think that we would be close, I mean those hi’s were kind of awkward and I was wondering why did she only talk to me? But the next day, she was sitting next to me, her on my right and Bri on my left. Charlotte and Kenzie were always a few seats over. But that also started a huge drama.
Bela is a sugar addict. You can’t have a soda each day at 9 in the morning and not be called one. So day after day I would wait for Bela if she didn’t have enough candy and needed to buy more, or if she needed to get something from her huge mass of stuff that she hadn’t grabbed before. I didn’t mind it and I mean sometimes I was getting something too. But Brianne, she got so annoyed. See, she wouldn’t wait for Bela, so I did. There wouldn’t be enough seats in the computer lab for all of us. So instead of splitting up, Bela and I would sit together somewhere else. She didn’t save both me and Bela seats like I would’ve. She kind of tried to separate us; that only made us closer.
I had written a poem about Brianne, about her, and the poem said, “Wardrobe is adorable, sometimes stronger than her.” This embodied what she was like. When I first saw her, I thought she was going to be a little rude and very snooty, but she was really just quiet and extremely insecure. I learned this and wrote this seemingly harmless line in her poem. Then someone who was anonymous decided to point out the fact that I thought her clothes made a bolder statement than she did. For 3 straight days, everyone in the back row on the right of the computer lab, they just kept writing all these things. The thing is, they knew it was true. I apologized though and she forgave me.
That didn’t mean the drama was over though. When Bela and I continued to be extremely close friends, Brianne got even more jealous. She started hitting me, pushing and just saying rude things that eventually made me just not want to be near her. Bela and I were affected the most by this. Noodle and Charlotte barely cared and Caitlin, Maria and Gina weren’t even aware. So after a while, Brianne stopped sitting with us, she moved to a different area, she talked with other people and we just started to try and forget her.
But on the last few days, Bri started talking to us again. I guess we didn’t want to end it badly, or at least as badly. Bela and I told her it was us who had prank called her a few days earlier. We had used Bela’s cell phone, demanded real estate info, and talked with a very weird almost Mediterranean accent. Basically, we found out that our two messages had freaked her out. Now things were semi-normal with Bri again. I mean, I still disliked her and so did Bela, but we figured maybe we should be nicer, include her a little, a mean we didn’t need to be best friends, only tolerant of each other. We ended the two week session of the Connecticut Writing Project hugging and laughing and already missing one another. Bela, Noodle and I knew we would keep in touch with hour long phone calls and sleepovers every month, but we were still just sad to end an amazing 2 weeks that felt like four. We will all probably do this again next year, and we probably will all try to stay in the same session, but there isn’t anyone saying, I will be there next year.
Fairfield University was a respectable place. Immaculate lawns, trees ready for climbing, and old looking brick buildings welcomed you to a summer program you may never forget. I loved this after just a few days at the Connecticut Writing Program. Friends surrounded me in the semi young group first consisting of Brianne, Charlotte, Noodle, me, and sometimes Caitlin, Gina, and Maria. We were happy just writing in a place that was almost completely supportive. I almost couldn’t believe that this place had once scared me. Cause on my first day it was totally different.
I had walk into this huge room with lots of tables and chairs lined up neatly. About 5 rows high and about fifteen chairs to a table, it looked like the ideal place to scare someone new to this like me. I walked in with this boy Quinn, he seemed quiet compared to everyone else, but I don’t really think either of us knew what to expect. Behind a huge wall revealed about five other people, and old lady who would end up leading us, a strict woman named Justine, and a really nice and relaxed looking man, named Jeff would also be in charge too. I sit down and wait, watching groups of kids who know each other squeal with excitement, while other kids like me wait.
I kept thinking like great, this will be worse than prompts or CMTs. I’m stuck in this dumb writing program just so I can be in the high writing class, 8-1. Six hours wasted each day and I can’t believe it cost $700. I already hate this place. But every day I showed up with my brown hair and blonde highlights pulled back in a ponytail or braids and my feet in flip flops or sneakers. My shorts and a tee-shirt was what I wore, just like all the rest of them here, we didn’t care as much of how well we were dressed, we all just dressed for comfort. I almost couldn’t believe that I loved this place; that I smiled all the time and laughed constantly too.
When I first saw Charlotte, as she came in with shorts and a tee-shirt, I was ecstatic. She was the first person I knew there, the first and only person I knew before we started. We weren’t really friends, nor are we now, but when you see only one familiar face in a room, you tend to gravitate towards them, or at least that’s what I do.
I saw other people there too, a girl with curly brown Shirley Temple like hair. She had a blue dress shirt tucked into her blue jean shorts and a rainbow belt. I figured she’d be so goody two shoes who would annoy me non-stop. There was also this girl when I looked across the room. This girl, with blonde hair and a flowery blue colored spaghetti strap shirt. She slowly turned towards me and I mouth, “Hi……” She mouthed hi back. She slowly got up and walked towards me. She sat down next to me and that kind of just started out our friendship.
During that first day, I met a lot of people. Kenzie, who I’d later call Noodle, she was the one with the Shirley Temple hair. Brianne, she was the girl who had sat next to me, the blonde one. Caitlin, is this amazing and funny sophomore, and the freshmen Maria and Gina, they are these two really nice girls who I found out almost a week and a half in, are twins. This made up our core group. Well, most of it anyways. Caitlin, Maria and Gina sat with the other high schoolers but they talked with us more. Brianne, Charlotte and I started to sit together with Kenzie in tow. On that first day, Bri, Charlotte, Kenzie and I walked into this huge room, the cafeteria. As a group, we started gravitating towards the middle of the room. Slowly I walked towards this table at the center, a great spot, and it was empty! We sat down there relieved that there was an open table in the crowded room. We each ate pizza, fries, and of course one whole ice cream cone and one whole sundae every lunch. We’d go outside with 15 minutes left for our lunch brake and go climb trees and take amazing pictures. When we’d come back inside, our spot in that huge room, in what I called the “conference room”, is the second row up, closest to the door. It’s the spot I sat at on the first day, and every day that followed. Mid-afternoon, we’d go to the computer lab. We all sat in the back row, up on the right. That was until I met Bela on that third day.
You see on that third day, we were split into groups. I was with a few girls I didn’t really know but Kenzie was in my group. Brianne, she was annoyed because she was in a group with people we didn’t know. After about an hour of conferencing with those groups, we were reunited with our friends. When Bri walked back towards us though, this smart, nice, funny and cool looking girl came too. Brianne said, “Hey everyone, this is Bela. She’s in 7th grade too!” Bela stood in front of me and the extent of our first conversation was “Hi”…… “Hi” “Hi!” “Hi” “Hhhhhiiiiiii” “Hi.” Then she left to go back to her group of friends.. As you can see, I didn’t really think that we would be close, I mean those hi’s were kind of awkward and I was wondering why did she only talk to me? But the next day, she was sitting next to me, her on my right and Bri on my left. Charlotte and Kenzie were always a few seats over. But that also started a huge drama.
Bela is a sugar addict. You can’t have a soda each day at 9 in the morning and not be called one. So day after day I would wait for Bela if she didn’t have enough candy and needed to buy more, or if she needed to get something from her huge mass of stuff that she hadn’t grabbed before. I didn’t mind it and I mean sometimes I was getting something too. But Brianne, she got so annoyed. See, she wouldn’t wait for Bela, so I did. There wouldn’t be enough seats in the computer lab for all of us. So instead of splitting up, Bela and I would sit together somewhere else. She didn’t save both me and Bela seats like I would’ve. She kind of tried to separate us; that only made us closer.
I had written a poem about Brianne, about her, and the poem said, “Wardrobe is adorable, sometimes stronger than her.” This embodied what she was like. When I first saw her, I thought she was going to be a little rude and very snooty, but she was really just quiet and extremely insecure. I learned this and wrote this seemingly harmless line in her poem. Then someone who was anonymous decided to point out the fact that I thought her clothes made a bolder statement than she did. For 3 straight days, everyone in the back row on the right of the computer lab, they just kept writing all these things. The thing is, they knew it was true. I apologized though and she forgave me.
That didn’t mean the drama was over though. When Bela and I continued to be extremely close friends, Brianne got even more jealous. She started hitting me, pushing and just saying rude things that eventually made me just not want to be near her. Bela and I were affected the most by this. Noodle and Charlotte barely cared and Caitlin, Maria and Gina weren’t even aware. So after a while, Brianne stopped sitting with us, she moved to a different area, she talked with other people and we just started to try and forget her.
But on the last few days, Bri started talking to us again. I guess we didn’t want to end it badly, or at least as badly. Bela and I told her it was us who had prank called her a few days earlier. We had used Bela’s cell phone, demanded real estate info, and talked with a very weird almost Mediterranean accent. Basically, we found out that our two messages had freaked her out. Now things were semi-normal with Bri again. I mean, I still disliked her and so did Bela, but we figured maybe we should be nicer, include her a little, a mean we didn’t need to be best friends, only tolerant of each other. We ended the two week session of the Connecticut Writing Project hugging and laughing and already missing one another. Bela, Noodle and I knew we would keep in touch with hour long phone calls and sleepovers every month, but we were still just sad to end an amazing 2 weeks that felt like four. We will all probably do this again next year, and we probably will all try to stay in the same session, but there isn’t anyone saying, I will be there next year.
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