His Blue-Eyed Girl

His Blue-Eyed Girl

By: Joanna Koczuk

It seems like just yesterday

You were a part of me.

That blue-eyed girl,

With her unruly tangles of blond hair

That my fingers would twist and turn,

And bury my nose

In their tangy, tropical scent.

Her contagious smile

That would tug every one my frowns,

Into a helpless grin.

Her gentle touch;

She strokes the fine hairs on my forearm,

Caresses my cheek.

Her arms wrapped around me tight.

Unbreakable threads.

Immersed in your warmth,

That I wear around my heart,

Like a weathered velvet cloak.

Nothing could go wrong.

Now all that’s left of me,

Is what I pretend to be?

So put together,

But broken up inside.

I’m barely hanging on.

How could you do this?

Shatter what I thought

Was the girl I knew?

Destroy what we once cherished.

Abandon me.

No regrets.

I’m stuck here with the ghost of what we used to be.

Inseparable.

Forever.

Sharing our most sinister secrets,

And haunting fears.

Lying on our backs in the wild grass,

To gaze in awe at stars,

Dancing on their midnight stage.

Building sandcastles on the beach,

Playing our games of make-believe.

But then,

Without a last goodbye,

You vanished from my life.

No explanation.

Nothing, but an aching emptiness.

And all those hours we spent together

Have gone to waste.

Because all this time,

You were pretending.

No matter how hard I try

To erase you from my memory,

You live on.

A lock of blond hair lying astray on my desk.

Your perfume still lingering in the air which I breathe.

A faded photograph hiding,

At the bottom a dresser drawer.

Calling out to me.

I close my eyes,

I hear your laughter ringing through my ears.

I see

Your sweet smile,

Posing for my camera.

Those blue eyes,

Full of life,

Twinkling with mischief.

A daisy pinned in your hair.

The wet sand oozing in between your toes.

Twirling in circles.

The folds of your pink dress,

Fluttering in the morning breeze.

Your face aglow in the rays of light.

Like an angel from heaven.

I will never escape from you.

You are a permanent scar.

My shadow,

Clinging to my side.

A phantom.

Lingering in forgotten corners of my consciousness.

My eyes become clouded.

Suffocating in my sorrow.

Won’t someone come

And rescue me?

I cant's stop

The salty tears cascading down my face,

Cries that no one can suppress.

Even though I know all too well,

That blue-eyed girl

Will never come back.

Days feel like years,

Trudging unhurriedly along.

Time has taken a vacation.

And forsaken me in its mercy.

Ignorant voices dictate from every direction.

“Move on,” they screech

“Forget her.”

They are blind.

And know nothing.

I shut the door on their pity

A mask of feigned smiles.

Concealing their insincere concern.

Mocking stares.

Their gossip and lies.

Though the rest of the world

Will leave me behind.

Choose to continue without me.

I refuse to bend,

To its implacable will.

Nor believe

That our love was never meant to be.