Spell Check

Cary Lee Bates and Paul Reuben Day must have fancied themselves real-life Zorros.

Their despised invention slashes a red or green zigzag under every perceived error, which is generally something misconstrued as an error but is actually perfectly grammatical.

It annoys the living perdition out of me! My goodness!

Yes, I am totally freaking aware that that previous line was a fragment! And, thank you very much, I am not going to consider revising it! So there!

Sometimes there are so many red scars across the computer screen (mainly for unfamiliar proper nouns, such as surnames) that I feel like Harry Potter.

My inner annoying nitpicker (sometimes referred to as Ian) is telling me that was a lame sentence. (Shut up, Ian!)

In any case, I think a death threat would be imprudent, as they are taken very seriously by society at large in current times. Suffice it to say that I highly dislike these two people, Messrs. Bates and Day (at least, I’m assuming Mr. Bates is a man, a la Cary Grant) simply because their most famous and overused invention does not do a proper job of catching true grammatical errors.

True, I make few errors that would be caught by such a computer program.

But I still want to scream in its smug little dead-wrong computer chip face.