Forgotten

this is a holocaust poem

All in lines
heading out
looking behind them
at their forgotten homes
filing out
being called dogs
hoping internally
that they’ll come back home.

All their stories
so hard to speak of
people start crying
when they hear of that place.

The Holocaust was cruel
it can’t go forgotten
so remember their lives before
their home’s memories before then.

I Am So Sorry

I knew that i was treading water
feeling things that made me sadder
i knew that what i said was mean
i was angry, not meaning a thing.

i was wrong and i couldn't realize it
saying things despite real feelings
i knew that this should've stopped
i didn't apologize till it was too late.

i cry and cry, all day long
missing things, way past gone
i may never regain her trust
but i will also never say things out of betrayingness

i didn't realize that i was wrong
until i lost her
she's way past gone
she'll never talk to me again
and this makes me hate me now and then

i never really filtered thoughts
just wrote stuff down out of frustrationess
she was the bigger person
i teared her down
and can't get her back.

I apologized
cause i'm so so sorry
i miss her now
and can't be without her.

i didn't know that i needed her
she hates me
and it seems all over

i lost my best friend today
i hate it so much
and i'll just cry
i hope to see her again
have her talk
even if it's mean
i'd rather have her slap my face
than lose her now
when i need her most.

a half an hour in a life of a girl

The simple rectangular ad in The New York Times was enough to reinstill that sense of wanderlust, unquenchable while remaining in Connecticut. On the page advertizing summer camps, the small ad ran under the heading of "Travel". "The Experiment in International Living" it read in stark black capitals. Underneath, in smaller italics: Changing the world one friendship at a time. The ad offered "Challenging programs for high school students in"-it then listed locations in boldface print- "Europe, The Americas, Africa, Asia, and Oceania." Below that, in small italics, was its claim to having been providing "Excellence in International Education since 1932." Following that was a phone number (1-800-345-2929) and a web address (www.usexperiment.org). As she wrote and contemplated, all the while acutely aware of her own metacognition, her dramatic background soundtrack was provided by occasional outbursts of windblown rain outside and the musical ramblings and tangents of her sister playing the piano, playing what the girl thought was quite loud and a bit annoying considering the time. She had sort of been trying to sleep for the past half-hour or so, and with ther sister miraculously having been spontaneously energized, it looked like she would be trying for a while now.

The whole day a growing resentment of these near-weekly family parties was creeping over her. Nost of that stemmed from petty and rather selfish reasons, she supposed. It was just that, even with the spending of four hours in the car and nearly three hours with relatives, it just didn't seem to matter that much. Of course, it was her cousin's first birthday, how exciting, how nice, but she somehow got the feeling that she wasn't particularly hyped to see any of her relatives, and they weren't particularly excited to see her. The conversation was far from stimulating and the pizza crust was too sweet. It was so cute, though, to see how her little cousin would instantly react to a camera by splitting his face into a huge smile. Good little celebrity- or, should one say- prince.

Finally her sister let the last chord fade away. FINALLY she could go to sleep...

What Every Girl Wants To Say To The Boy They Love

There are some things that can't be said over the internet.
They need to be said when you can hear my voice, and I can hear yours.
I'll do the best I can, but try to imagine that it's me speaking.
Every moment we've spent together has flown by, and I can't even describe how much fun it is to be around you, even through the rough patches.
But if I know one thing is true, it's that there isn't one moment in the day that I don't think of you.
So people might not think your cute, but I do, and that's all that matters.
You may not be the fairytale prince charming, but I've learned that there comes a day when fairytales and dreams are nothing more than fantasy, that there never really is a perfect relationship.
I've woken up from my dream, but I have you.
And I now realize that the fairytale I've always wanted has been right in front of me all this time.
You're the only guy who I can be myself with, and who really understands me.
I'm not asking for anything serious anymore, just that you'll stay with me.
Act however you please, just stay with me.

Day of Silence

It's amazing how you can do something every day and not realize how much you do it, until you try to stop completely, even for eight hours. They say you never miss your water until your well runs dry, but in the case of a hundreds of students around the U.S., you never miss talking until you try to stop talking. For the entire school day.
At first it was easy. A lot of people put tape over their mouths, not trusting their own self-restraint. People who were not participating looked on interestedly, almost jealously, some of them. As the day wore on, however, people started to make blunders. There was the occasional person who would crack and just give up in the middle of a class, or the automatic response made in reply to a passing friend's polite greeting. Many people noticed for the first time how instinctual talking is. That's why it is so impressive that so many people took part in the Day of Silence.
I'm sitting here typing this in my school's library during sixth period. To my credit, I have only made four blunders this whole day: once I said "Sorry" when I bumped into someone in the hallway, I slipped up in homeroom for a second while demonstrating the ASL alphabet to someone, and automatically responded to my friend's "Hey Gina!" with a "Hey!" of my own. I had no control over the situation in fifth period- I had to talk during the group math quiz or risk alienating the rest of my group.
On the whole, this experience has made me wonder how many of the things I do everyday are done out of habit or routine. Even if you are not a person who keeps to a very tight schedule, there are things you do around the same time every day, certain things you automatically respond to. Now I am glad that my bad habits are harmless, or I might not be able to change them.

1:21

Clouds glow soft pink, dark blue
There is light, but no moon can be seen
A strange sort of half-light
that darkens upon further scrutiny.

You know the moon is full
But it hides behind a cluster of clouds
deigning to be silent and furtive in the dead of night.

And then what is the moon?
Only a rock
a reflection of light that is not its own.

One Chance, One Wish

Another day, another mistake.
More tear stains on my clothes,
red eyes cannot be faked.

Hidden in shame,
a face will be recognized.
Another person
we have come to despise.

It has begun.
Fear latches onto me,
gun in hand.
Sleek and smooth is the sound,
the shot heard in my head and heart.

How can life be missed
when life was never lived?
The loss of one loved,
The pain of those who suffer.

If I had one wish,
It would not have happened.
The voice in my head
would not have existed.

If I had one wish,
I would give back what I had taken.
Why not me instead of them?