this is a work in progress, please leave comments. i really need constructive critisism
I love my friends
They are so strong
I think of them
And I am proud
One could ditch us fast
Become more popular
She sticks with us though
In all her perfectness
The other is so funny
She makes me laugh all the time
She sings to her own beat
And dresses what she’s like
One is adventurous like you can’t imagine
When I think of her
I think fun and singing
She gets me to explore
One is sweet and quiet
Sings softly and so peaceful
She has her own way
And you learn to accept it
These four friends are amazing
They are strong and diverse too
The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants is fiction
But it looks too similar to be true
Thursday, July 19, 2007
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7 comments:
Do you mean "But it looks too similar to be true"?
yeah, thank's gina, i'm about to fix that now.
"One is adventurous like you can’t imagine
When I think of her
I think fun and singing
She gets me to explore"
The second and third lines in this stanza are just a little weak. Maybe play with the words a little so you can express more why she is fun to be around?
Also, what does she get you to explore? Feelings?
Ya I totally agree with Maria.
Who are your 4 friends?
my friends are these grls from school, kathereine, emma, megan, and cassidy. it is a work in progress so thanks for the advice Maria. and explore means, she gets me to love running sometimes, yet I hate doing it alone. she'll show me something in my yard, that i never really cared about. she gets me to overall just be more active and imaginative.
heyy. this is madeleine's friend emma. wat up?? i'm the adventurous one. hehehehe. so ... anyhoo. BLOOM YOUNG WRITERS, KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK :)
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